Talking to Patrizia

One Train (1994)

Patrizia doesn’t want toTalk about love sheSays she justWants to makeLove but she talksAbout it almost endlessly to me.

It is horrible itIs the worst thing in lifeSays PatriziaNothingNot death not sicknessIs as bad as love

I am alwaysIn love I am alwaysSuffering from loveSays Patrizia. NowI am used to itBut I am suffering all the same

Do you know what I did to herOnce?—speakingOf her girlfriend—I kicked her outI literally kicked her she was down on the floor and IGave her the colpi di piedi theKicks of my foot. She slided out.

She did thisTo me promised to go on a tripI am all waiting preparedSuitcases and ticketsShe comes and says her other friend finds out sheCan’t go she guessed about it. I KICKED her out

Oh we are still togetherSometimes. But love is horrible. I thoughtYou might be the bestPerson to talk to Patrizia since youLove women and are a womanYourself. You may be right Patrizia

Said. But this woman who abandonsYou I think you shouldDisappear. Though maybe with this womanDisappearing won’t work.I think not disappear.It’s too bad I don’t know her

If I knew her if I could see herJust for ten minutes—I’m afraidIf you saw her you might takeHer away from me. PatriziaLaughs. No it hasn’t happened to meThank God to like such young women yet

Why? When you are myAge—still young—sheIs thirty … nine? you are close enoughTo people very young toKnow how horrible they areAnd you don’t love them

You don’t want to have anythingTo do with them! OhUh huh, I said puttingMy hands down on the table and then offLook at you excuse me but I have to laughAt you sitting in this horrible

Restaurant at one o’clockIn the morning in aCity you don’t want to beIn and why? For this woman.It is horrible I know butAlso funny

I know I said. Listen I haveAn idea. Do you know her address? You know whereShe lives? You should go thereGo and hide thereOutside her houseIn the bushes

Then when she comes outYou jump outYou confront her. You will seeIf there is loveIn her eyes or not. It can’tBe hidden. You will know It can’t be mistaken

This works This has always workedFor me. It won’t work for me. I can’tGo and hide there It is truePatrizia says when there is love everythingWorks when there isn’t nothing does. LoveIs a god These Freudian things I don’t believe at all

This god you have to do whatHe wants you to you areAngry but all you really wantIs to get her back. Then—revenge! IfThis woman did something like this to meI would simply dislike her in fact

I would hate her You may want to considerPatrizia said that this woman isDoing this test to you. No, ISaid. I know she’s not. I know something. I feelA hundred years old. YetYou don’t look so bad, Patrizia said.

Find another woman. I can’t. IKnow Patrizia said. But one always thinks itIs a good idea. ButIf you can’t you can’t. ICan’t even eatThis food Patrizia I said.

I’m sorry I said Patrizia to be soBoring I can’t stop talking ForgiveMe. It doesn’t bore me at allPatrizia says It’s my favorite subjectIt isn’t every day one sees somebodyIn such a state you can help him by talking to stay alive

You know, Patrizia says if sheDoes this thing to you nowShe will do it againAnd again so you’d better be readyMaybe you can get the advantageBy saying she is right you

Don’t love her Good bye You leaveHowever if you want herYou should go into the bushesAnd surprise her when they see youIt always makes a differenceI can’t go hide there Patrizia

That’s insane. I went but notHiding and not confronting.Patrizia: What did she say? I saidThe same things. Patrizia saidDid you see love in her eyes? I saidNo. I didn’t. I saw

Something else. In Florence it’s rainyHer (relatively) short hair andHer eyes along the ArnoThe last time I’ll ever see her againAs the one I am seeing againWhen seeing again still has some meaning.

It’s finished Patrizia’s sayingFor now but don’t worryI think you will get her backBut it will be too late. Oh Patrizia ILet my back and head fall againstThe chair Late isn’t anything!